6 Things to Consider When Talking to Your Loved Ones About Your Final Wishes
Although nearly everyone agrees on the importance of sharing their final wishes, only about 1 in 5 people will ever actually talk to their loved ones. After you’ve prepared your final wishes document, you should also prepare to have a conversation with those you love. Here are some things to consider:
1. Who
Choose who you’d like to be involved in the conversation. It should be the person or people you trust most and the ones who will be carrying out your wishes when the time comes. For many this includes a spouse, child, sibling, or close friend.
2. What
Have something prepared ahead of time. We recommend having the documents with you when you sit down to share with your family. This is also a good time to discuss logistics like where this information will be stored and if you’ve set aside any funds or have an insurance policy in place.
3. When
When you share your final wishes depends on your comfort level. Our biggest recommendation is that you don’t keep putting it off, which is a very easy thing to do. There may never be a “perfect” time.
We recommend that you choose a time when the right people are gathered together, but that it does not overshadow a celebration. For example, if your family is gathered for the holidays, it may be great to have the conversation the day after Christmas, but you may want to avoid bringing it up in the middle of Christmas dinner.
Follow your gut. You’ll know when it’s appropriate to discuss.
4. Where
If you are sharing physical documents, the best place is often gathered around the kitchen table or in the living room. If you feel more comfortable, you could go for a walk and discuss your preferences, then share the document with your loved ones afterward.
5. Why
Why go through this awkward conversation? Do it for those you love. It may be uncomfortable in the moment, but many people describe feeling as if a weight is lifted afterwards. Muscle through this process so you’ll have peace of mind that your family won’t have the stress of determining what you would have wanted when you’re gone.
6. How
How do you bring it up? Forgive yourself if the intro is a little clunky. It’s something you’ll only have to do once. We recommend asking permission before diving into the details. “It may be a long time from now, but I want you to know what my wishes are when the time comes. Will you allow me to walk through them with you?”
If your loved one(s) are not ready to talk about it, you should honor that and give them some time. Offer to give them the document to look over when they are up for it, or tell them where you will be keeping your copy. They may want to approach you again on their own terms, but forcing it may make the conversation unproductive.
Have you considered what your final wishes are and had the conversation with your family?
Document your final wishes in 10 minutes
Rest easy and save your loved ones from future stress by documenting your final wishes.