Bill Pettit
July 2nd, 1944 - October 20, 2021
The world lost the finest mind ever misemployed for impish jokes and cheap puns on October 20th, 2021, when Bill Pettit, 77, passed peacefully from this earth.
William Albert Pettit was born on July 2nd, 1944, in Memphis, Tennessee, to parents Albert Pettit and Freddie Sherrod. Due to his exceptional southern drawl, Bill's first word was begun in November 1945 and concluded nearly 7 months later in June 1946. More attentive to his food than to his dinner guests, his family believes his deep love of food began in childhood when he was first introduced to it. Bill enjoyed an almost painfully stereotypical 1950's childhood otherwise, including playing 'outside' surrounded by 'nature' with friends named things like 'Edwin' and 'Harry'. Bill was also an avid runner in his youth and spent significant time in Alabama with his father's family, but there is no other evidence to suggest that he was, in fact, the inspiration for Forrest Gump.
Despite a physical addiction to biscuits and gravy, Bill departed Tennessee to acquire a bachelor's degree from Baylor University, a master's degree from the University of Memphis, and a Ph.D. from the University of Kentucky, where he met his best friend, Jerry Hedrick. With this impressive collection of forgeries, Bill's first chemistry job entrusted him with making explosives, which may also explain why no one ever stepped forward to claw back his dubious certifications. Bill's aptitude for attending to oppressive paperwork eventually landed him a job labeling radiopharmaceuticals targeting cancer for imaging and treatment, pioneering research in cancer immunotherapy with the VA Medical Center in Tampa, Florida. Bill spoke at many radiopharmaceutical conferences and published many papers in the nuclear medicine field, some of which may be read by someone someday.
Bill's primary hobby was consuming, jaw unhinged, anything that could be dragged alive out of the ocean, which entranced now ex-wife Debra Picone and impressed many onlookers who would later become lifelong friends. Bill was also a passionate racquetball player, video gamer, snorkeler, fisherman, canoer, and skilled photographer. His dedication to wildlife photography may explain his fascination with Disney World and the crowds therein.
With passion fueled by the fabled aphrodisiacs of racketball, video games, shellfish, and moving to Iowa, Bill and Deb gave birth to their only child Ashley in September 1990 in Iowa City. True to form, Bill consumed an entire box of Andes mints during the delivery. By the grace of God, Ashley inherited Bill's intelligence but remarkably few of his strange hobbies, which included writing out obscure chemical formulas on scraps of paper and leaving them in his wake. If you have recovered any of these, please do not attempt to build any explosives yourself but do feel free to find a cure for cancer. Bill retired from his position as the Radiation Safety Officer at the VA Medical Center in Iowa City, Iowa, in 2008 and moved to Crossville, Tennessee.
Friends of Bill will, of course, recall his truly impressive collection of Native American arrowheads and artwork. Bill's family will recall riveting vacations to exotic locales like Collinsville, IL (home of the giant ketchup bottle!), Fartwind, MO, and Dirtmound, NM. It was during his many, many (many!) hours spent indexing old pointy rocks that Bill met friends Roy and Jerry. Here, too, extended Bill's obvious passion and aptitude for paperwork.
After collecting every arrowhead on earth, Bill spent his later years collecting other things, namely socks and shoes. No doubt, future generations will catalog these with the same passion with which Bill collected them. Bill's affection for plant and animal life lingered after injuries slowed his athletic pursuits. Before spending his final years in Denver, CO performing further 'pharmaceutical experiments' with the 'local flora', Bill could be seen driving the only Prius in Tennessee around Crossville to his yoga classes.
Bill is preceded in death by every animal and plant that he ever owned, his parents, Richard Nixon, and disco. Bill is survived by his daughter, Ashley O'Neil (Keegan O'Neil), sister Anne Urrea, nephews Daniel, Donald, and Kelly Urrea, ex-wife Debra Picone, and a vast trove of nursing home clothing that is not his and the accumulation of which can only be described as 'puzzling.'
Those who knew Bill know that he was brilliant, unique, hilarious, and truly special. He will be deeply missed but never ever forgotten.
Make a Donation
In honor and remembrance of Bill, the family asks that any charitable donations be made to the Parkinson's Foundation.
